I got a kick out of this from a friend and I'm sure it'll turn up on snopes in the next few days. But still I like reading this because I think it's damned funny.



Subject: CANADA RELATES TO MEXICO AS IT SENDS HOME BUSH DODGERS
December 1, 2004
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into
Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased
patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left leaning
citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it 's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians
crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a
Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.
He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to
show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields.
Not real effective," he said. ~The liberals still got through,
and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons,
drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,"
an Ontario border patrolman said. ~I found one carload without a drop of
drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing
loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating
about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps
in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch
NASCAR.
In the days since the election, liberals have turned to
sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border.
Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to
buy cheap
Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans
disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities
began stopping
buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.
If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence
Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies. I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. ~How many art-history majors does one country needed
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure
liberals, a source close to Cheney said.We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we
might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president isdetermined to reach
out."